A very strange episode from Braga, Berman and Bourmanis, "Desert Crossing" puts the entire crew's professional lives on hold while Archer and Tucker go on a manly expedition to a desert planet for a homo-erotic sports ritual with an extremely macho local leader.
At the same time, "Desert Crossing" explores the growing reputation Archer and his crew are gaining across the galaxy and the potentially problematic impact of intervening in local conflicts without really knowing the bigger picture.
Still trying to reach Risa for some shore leave, Enterprise receives a distress call from a small ship with engine problems. Always willing to help, Archer diverts Enterprise and meets the ship's lone occupant, a charismatic man named Zabral. In gratitude for the help provided, Zabral invites Archer and Tucker back to his home planet to enjoy his hospitality and to take part in a regular sporting ritual (which turns out to be a barely changed version of lacrosse).
Enterprise parks in orbit. Archer and Tucker make their way to the desert-dominated surface while the rest of the crew... twiddles its collective thumbs and dreams of shore leave. In an excruciatingly bad scene of male bonding, Archer, Tucker and Zabral enjoy the local delicacies and Zabral plies Archer with gifts. For once, the Star Fleet men don't display their usual xenophobia in sampling the local cuisine until... the testicles of the beast are served to them as a particular delicacy.
The incident is supposed to be funny, I guess, but it comes across as a stunning mixture of xenophobia and homophobia -- Archer and Tucker visibly shudder as soon as they find out what the little meat balls are, then distract their host while they spit out the very tiny sample they tasted.
The scene is made even more ironic by the strong homo-erotic flavor of the rest of the visit, as Archer and Tucker strip naked to the waist to play a sweat-soaked, full-body contact sport, complete with big long sticks and a ball, with an all-male group of locals.
Meanwhile, Enterprise received a transmission from the head of the planetary government, demanding to know why the Earth ship sent a shuttle pod down to the camp of a known terrorist. When T'Pol explains that her captain had gone to enjoy Zabral's hospitality, the local leader warns her that Zabral will probably not permit Archer and Tucker ever to leave again.
T'Pol signals Archer, interrupting all the body-rubbing and sweating, to warn him and convince him to leave the planet. Zabral intervenes and refuses to let him go. Zabral admits that he is the leader of a rebel faction that is fighting for its rights on a planet that, until recently, had a strict caste system that denied basic rights to his people. Zabral adds that he has heard from a Suliban escapee from the penal colony (see "Detained") that Archer is a hero of the downtrodden and an expert in desert tactics -- all he wants is Archer's help in his fight for the rights of his people.
Just then, government mortars begin to bombard Zabral's camp. Archer and Tucker decide it is safer to escape into the desert than risk dying under the government weapons or staying to deal with Zabral. T'Pol, meanwhile, contacts the planetary government to demand that they stop the bombardment -- the leader refuses, saying that Enterprise promised to remove its crewmen from Zabral's camp and has failed to do so, clear evidence that Enterprise is supporting the rebels. The leader further warns T'Pol that any effort by Enterprise to intervene (or send a shuttle pod) would result in an attack on the Star Fleet vessels.
Faced with a seemingly unbeatable planetary detection grid, the Enterprise crew searches for a way to intervene. Meanwhile, T'Pol and Sato engage in a brief conversation on the challenges of any first contact: Sato asks T'Pol how the Vulcans made the decision to make first contact with Americans in Montana, since such a decision created the risk that other world powers would see that as the Vulcans taking sides in Human conflicts. T'Pol then explains that all first contacts have risks, that Vulcan had created a series of rules that must be followed in every first-contact situation and that Archer and Star Fleet would soon see the wisdom in that and create their own directives (get it, Prime Directives) on the issue.
While Archer proves himself a super-human in surviving in the extreme heat of the desert (and keeping a failing Tucker going too), Zabral arrives at Enterprise demanding to be permitted to dock. He tells T'Pol and Reed that the rebels have worked out a very complex path through the detection grid and is then convinced by the Enterprise crew 1) that Archer is not the hero he has been led to believe, nor the desert tactician he has been touted to be and 2) that Zabral had a moral obligation to help Enterprise find their lost crew members.
Zabral flies a shuttle pod to the surface. Their search for Archer and Tucker proves fruitless, however, until the local government begins to bombard a section of the desert that Zabral believes if completely empty of life or building. T'Pol realizes that the local government must have found her captain so the pod first knocks out the mortars, then rescues their dying fellow officers.
If it weren't for the fact that two female characters are permitted to have an intelligent, interesting conversation with each other about important moral and philosophical issues, I would say that this episode is a complete write-off.
The opening scene where Reed and Mayweather ogle photos of some of the woman on Risa is patently offensive, for example. The idea that the entire ship should simply sit in orbit and wait while Tucker and Archer get their macho ya yas on the surface is highly problematic. I've already discussed some of the problems with the early scenes at Zabral's camp and this portrayal of Archer as a super-being is hilarious, especially when at least part of the episode seems designed to debunk the growing myth that surrounds Star Fleet captain across the galaxy.
There is also a lot to talk about with regard to the contradictory presentations of the planet' defenses, including the idea that the planet's government has ships that could threaten Enterprise but chose not even to challenge her when she entered orbit and sent a shuttle pod down to a known rebel base. But it's just not worth the time or the energy to go into any detail.
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